They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
