the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
