this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
