he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
