Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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