i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
