i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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