Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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