forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize