i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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