So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
