Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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