I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
