I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He passed out mid-signature
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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