So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
