I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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