You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
