So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you would pick up someone in the library
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize