I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize