I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
