i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
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Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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