Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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