they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she looked like the before picture.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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