I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
