I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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