but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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