I'm gonna have a badass scar
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
