Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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