listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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