dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
