How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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