She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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