dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
