will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
