you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
