I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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