The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
