The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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