SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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