I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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