I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
