so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
