she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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