dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
