Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
