And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
