quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
no. you can't hotbox the world.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
