she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
