I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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