Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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