My first STD was from a foam party
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
