So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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