she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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