I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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