Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
