you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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