Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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