He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
