Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
