We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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