That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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