You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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