Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
